Thomas Bayrle

Paul Dardé - Eternelle Douleur, 1913

I’ve been back in New Orleans for a little over two weeks. Things are going really well. I’m getting laid regularly. My food stamp application is in. I’m doing work that makes my soul sing. I really feel like I’m helping people, truly making a difference. The world seems to be blossoming with opportunity. I haven’t felt this much hope and potential in a long time. I feel like I’m coming back to life.

The long night is almost over.


Amy Woodside
Irene Suchocki/Eye Poetry
Marina Molares

Today was my last day of work and I feel… well, honestly I’m not really feeling much about it. I spent so, so much of my time feeling so utterly depressed (for many reasons, not all of them related specifically to the job). And now I just have this other big stressful life event (moving, new job) to divert any feelings of relief that I might otherwise feel.

But there was one moment that was really heartwarming to me that I feel like sharing for no real reason. Like, it’s certainly not representative of my time at that job, but it does make me feel really special. About a month or so ago my manager asked me what my ultimate career/life goals were. I told her that I’d really like to go back to graduate school, and that whatever work I end up doing I want it to be work devoted to helping the disenfranchised. Whether that be activism, or teaching the next generation of scholars and activists, whatever.

She then told me that she felt she didn’t really have any career aspirations, and that her one dream is to be a great mom. A few weeks after we shared this moment, she found out she was pregnant with her first child, and then a day or two later I found out that I got this job with the Public Defender.

It’s a minor moment, but it’s special to me.

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